A blog dedicated to the freaks of nature that look like the ever delightful Alan Rickman. Coming soon: animals that sound like Alan Rickman.
Severus Snake
Anonymous asked: What's your purpose?
to serve and protect
and to document all the alan rickman animals in the land for the peoples enjoyment
Dolphin Rickman.
I apologise for the lack of animal Rickman photos on behalf of all of us here who set it as our quest to photograph every animal that looks like Alan Rickman. We have been slightly preoccupied with exams to go out into the wild and photograph them for you.
Be sure to submit pictures you also take riiight here!
Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dót)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body pictures.. if you can guess who I am hit me up and we'll hang soon. You need a C C but its free
Animals that look like Alan Rickman are animals, not Alan Rickman.
miloninja asked: THAT EMU STORY WOULD NEVER END LIKE THAT!!! humans and emus are from different species!!! their offspring would neither be viable nor fertile! who's running this blog? a fooligan?
It works because it’s an animal that looks like Allan Rickman! The Emu’s Allan Rickman-like sperm was super sperm and impregnated her. CLEARLY YOU KNOW NOT OF SUPER SPERM!!!
Sorry about how wordy that last one got. I was carried away in the art of Alan Rickman animal story telling.
TO sum it up for the lazy peeps:
- Aussie trucker with emu, always has exact change for meals
- Waitress is in love with Alan and curious how the truckie always has exact change
- Turns out genie granted him wishes. He now has emu and always the right change
- Waitress is confused. Turns out Allan RIckman was actually an emu
- Waitress asks truckie whether she can marry his emu
- He reluctantly agrees
- Emu and waitress have 5 kids
AND THUS THE TALE OF EMU RICKMAN
This one’s for all you Aussies!
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu that looks like Allan Rickman behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders, slightly starstruck that Allan Rickman was in her cafe!
The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke,’ and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’ ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke.’ The emu says, ‘I’ll have the same.’
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress, trying to work up the courage to ask Allan for his autograph.
‘No, it’s Friday night, so I’ll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man. ‘Same,’ says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?!’
‘Well, love’ says the truckie, ‘a few years ago I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’
‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!’
‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,’ says the man.
The waitress asks, ‘What’s with ALLAN RICKMAN?!? WHY IS HE ALWAYS WITH YOU? ARE YOU GUYS BEST FRIENDS??! ALLAN! CAN I PLEASE GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!’
The waitress pauses, realising she may have offended Allan by being so crazily obsessed with him; she’s had a crush on him for as long as she can remember. She feels embarrassed by her foolishness.
The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall attractive chick with a big bum and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.’
The waitress becomes startled by the man’s statement and asks, “But then how did you get Allan Rickman?”
The truckie chuckles, and answers, “well, although it may appear to be Allan Rickman, it is actually an emu… However, he’s a pretty nice lad my emu!”
The waitress is shocked! She had wanted to ask the emu for it’s hand in marriage… How foolish! Her dreams dashed by it not really being him! But the emu DOES bare a striking resemblance to Allan.
She asks, “Sir, if it’s alright with you, may I ask for the emu’s hand in marriage? It has always been my dream to marry Allan and this looks like the closest opportunity to that as I will get.”
The truckie was gobsmacked by what he had heard! He reluctantly agreed to let his emu to marry the waitress. They now have 5 kids
I suppose i should explain why there are so many animals that look like Alan Rickman in the wild. You see, in the world of biology and natural selection, favorable traits are selected for. This means that the best looking and most attractive animals to their potential mates will have a better chance of reproducing and passing on their genes.
Obviously, any animal would instantly be attracted to any other animal that looks like Alan Rickman!! Hence why there are so many animals that look like Alan Rickman out there.
Myself and a few friends have dedicated our lives to exploring the vast deserts and jungles of the world in search for animals that look like Alan Rickman. This blog is our life story.
